|Home||Local Vendors||Wedding Statistics||Bridal Shows||Wedding Planning||free use of articles||Submit An Article||Contact Us|
Marriage Counseling Tips: What to Do When Your Spouse Wont Talk
How to get a spouse's attention so that he or she will communicate with you is an issue that mystifies many couples. Spouses report trying many techniques, such as trying to talk rationally and logically, watching to see when a spouse is in a good mood, and waiting for a time when the television is off. They also share stories of begging, pleading, threatening, and finally, yelling and screaming.
If you are having problems getting your spouse to talk to you and to share feelings and opinions, here are some additional things you can do to facilitate communication. First, you have to grab your spouse's attention, which is what these tips are designed to do.
1.When you're talking to your spouse and start getting overly-emotional, lower your voice instead of raising it. This breaks the pattern of tempers escalating, followed by loud yelling. If your spouse asks what you're doing, just say that you read that lowering your voice was a way to defuse anger. Maybe your partner will decide to try it, too.
2.Write your spouse a letter or e-mail stating your feelings, requests, or questions. Include how not talking about or resolving the issues is affecting you. For example, you might say, "When you call me horrible names, I feel like I've been betrayed. I don't want anything to lessen my love for you, but I know that if this continues, I won't feel the same way toward you. Can we please agree not to call each other names (or can we make an appointment with a marriage counselor, etc.)?"
3.Buy a cute, funny, or clever greeting card and include a note asking if you can schedule a time to talk to him when you both will be uninterrupted. Some spouses have an easier time talking to their partner in a restaurant over dinner, so you could suggest making plans for going out for a meal.
Obviously, you wouldn't want to discuss your most emotional issues in public, but maybe you could use the occasion to handle some relatively routine things. And then agree on a future time to talk about the more sensitive topics.
4.When you give your spouse a card or note asking if you can schedule a time to talk, include his or her favorite candy bar or a package of chewing gum-some small item that shows you pay attention to what your partner likes. With a candy bar, you might attach a note that says, "To my sweet Sweetie-could you please let me know when we can schedule a time to talk? Thanks so much. Enjoy the candy!"
5.Make a written list of your questions and include a "yes" and "no" box next to the question. Also include boxes that say "Undecided" and "Need More Details." Be as specific as you can. For example, you might make a list of possible activities and places to go on a "date night" and ask your partner to respond. In that case, you would put a category of "Other suggestions" at the bottom so your spouse could include additional ideas. Or you could make a list of possible times during the week that the two of you could reserve for private talks. Another idea is to make a list of things you think are important to resolve, and see if your spouse agrees or disagrees.
6.Look for something to "trade" with your spouse, such as offering to take the kids to a movie so your spouse can have friends over or enjoy some private time to relax. In return, negotiate for an uninterrupted time to discuss pertinent relationship issues-maybe a relative can keep the children or they can spend a weekend afternoon with friends. Or you might offer to do a certain chore that your partner detests doing in exchange for some "talk time," which your spouse may equate with being slowly tortured. Make a creative trade-off.
7.Just because you think the tips won't work, don't prematurely discount them. I have worked with numerous clients in marriage counseling who have tried these tips or variations of them, and the results have often been amazing. Spouses who don't normally express feelings verbally sometimes respond in writing, much to the astonishment of their partners. In other cases, spouses who receive letters have initiated conversations about how the letter has opened their eyes to things they didn't realize before.
Use these seven tips to jumpstart your thinking about different ways to open communication channels with your spouse. And if one attempt falls flat, try another. That's what all successful researchers do-and they don't hide behind the words, 'It'll never work." Experiment with an open mind and you may be surprised at the results.
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you improve your marriage. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
The extravagance of weddings is a popular topic. We blame it on modern commercialism. But then, what excuse could President Ulysses S Grant have for the money he spent on his daughter's wedding?
2005 Mother Of Bride Dress
A 2005 mother of bride dress tends to have a different look and feel to it than did mother of the bride dresses in the past. That's because today's mother of the bride tends to be a different sort of woman, having come of age in a different culture than the typical mother of the bride from eras gone by. Today's mother of the bride dress is as far from matronly as is the mother of the bride herself.
Marriage Advice: Twelve Steps to Creating an Affair-Proof Marriage
There's no way to absolutely guarantee that your marriage won't be blindsided by an affair on your part or your spouse's, but there are definite steps you can take to greatly reduce the probability of that happening.
Create Unique Wedding Invitations That Only Look Expensive
Save a substantial amount of money on invitations, without sacrificing quality, by making them yourself using your computer. It's easy and fun to create distinctive invitations, at a price you can afford, by layering fine printable paper over a heavyweight card and fastening them together with a unique embellishment.
The Bridezilla Syndrome: Do You Have It? Ten Ways to Avoid All the BS!
In a fast-paced world of wedding planning, stress levels are high; immune systems are low; and over the course of the past 20 years, brides have transmitted, what has become a bridal epidemic of our time.
How You Answer This Question Can Change Your Marriage
Imagine the following scenario. Your spouse has given you an important letter to mail and is counting on you to mail it on your way to work. But you slip up...you forget all about it until you're on the way home. "Oh, #$@!!" is your first reaction. You know the spouse will be upset.
Cost Effective Weddings
Many people believe that weddings have to be costly. But who says that they have to be?
Wedding Videography - When Getting it Right on the 1st Take Counts, Hire a Professional
Getting married is one of the most stressful events anyone will ever endure. So many details and preparations go into the making of a successful wedding. Often one of the most overlooked aspects of wedding preparation is hiring a wedding videographer. Many couples think they can cut a few corners by having uncle Charlie or aunt Mary video their wedding. They've had a camcorder for a long time; they must know what they are doing right? And what the heck it's free!
Family Cycle (I) - Euphoric and Dysphoric Cycles in Marriage
Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and the feminists, the reasons to engage in marriage largely remain the same. True, there have been role reversals and new stereotypes have cropped up. But the biological, physiological and biochemical facts were less amenable to modern criticisms of culture. Men are still men and women are still women in more than one respect.
The Charm of Homemade Wedding Favors
Homemade wedding favors come from a centuries old tradition of brides and grooms providing small gifts to wedding guests. Every culture across time has treated marriage as a wonderful event with the nuptials celebrated throughout the community. In many cultures the bride and groom are associated with good luck. A common thought among these cultures was, that every thing the couple touched would be charmed. By gifting members of the community, the couple would pass blessings to others for the rest of the year.
Diamond Engagement Ring, on Two Months Salary - Maybe Not!
Diamond spending - well, that is up to you. What to spend on a diamond is a tough and personal question. Two months' salary is a guideline.
Women Sufferings and Infidelity
Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when she finds her husband/partner is sharing with others what was meant for her. The partner is her/his own property and dignity that she does not want to loose. Her man for her is everything, whatever kind he is, she manages and sacrifices to get along as long as he is honest and dependable. Infidelity by her man is attack on her marital status and is suicidal for her:
Faulty Expectations: 4 Essential Don?ts
The more realistic you are as you prepare for marriage, the more likely you are to have a successful one. Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to give serious consideration to your expectations of your fiancé. Are they realistic? Are they fair?
Wedding Flower Ideas
Your wedding flowers cover all button holes, all the bouquets, the decoration in the church, reception venue, and top table centerpiece if appropriate. So you can see it covers quite a large part of the decoration of the day.
Invitation Anatomy 101 - Typical Components - Part 1 of 3
"What am I supposed to have in my invitation?" This is one of the most common questions I get asked. The answer is quite simple: Anything! It's true that convention doesn't quite apply anymore with respect to what 'goes' for an invitation these days. That being said, there are a lot of components in the most common invitation styles. I should caution that there are literally thousands of options available ? some a lot more unconventional and some are even bizarre. For the sake of brevity, I'll keep my breakdown constrained to the more common components and options used in invitations today (as about 85-90% of invitation orders inevitably consist of these).
Want To Know More About Wedding Planners?
Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel and Bookpleasures is pleased to have as a guest Judy Allen. Judy is the author of Your Stress Free Wedding Planner (Sourcebooks, Inc.), as well as five professional books on event planning (John Wiley and Sons).
Las Vegas Elvis Weddings
Got a yen for Elvis? Lots of people do. There are many variations on the theme ? and each and every one of them is available in Las Vegas and only in Las Vegas.
Dance Music for the Wedding Reception
The most enjoyable part of the wedding reception is the dance music. When choosing dance music for your wedding, you need to decide if you want the services of a DJ or a band for your wedding.
Attracting Marital Fulfillment, Its Not To Late To Start Right Now
As a personal and professional development coach, I have listened to scores of unhappy marital stories from clients. It is not my intention to pose as a marriage counselor nor therapist, as I am neither. However, via my previous experience as a crisis counselor, and as a partner in an intercultural marriage with its own unique characteristics, I have built up a store of helpful tips, some of which I share with you below.
Butterfly Releases offer the viewer the chance to see beauty in flight. The viewers have the opportunity to experience the beauty of one of nature's most symbolic and beautiful creations.
|Wedding Professionals in every state from Disc Jockeys & Photography to Wedding Invitations & Wedding Coordinators and free service including Sunset Times, Bridal Shows Wedding Planning Call us at 1-866 My Weddings|