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Mindfulness and Marriage: Moving Along
Marriage has to be the greatest opportunity for mindfulness on the planet.
I used to think that parenting took top honors, but really, a good marriage lasts a lot longer than a good childhood. After all, the kids do move out eventually, but the spouse stays.
Never the type to do things half-heartedly, my husband and I up the ante when it comes to spending time together. We have breakfast together. We ride to work together. We work all day together. We ride home together. We eat dinner together. We go to bed together.
This could be a recipe for disaster, but instead, we think it's the coolest thing ever, and we never take that for granted.
With all that proximity, we have learned tremendous patience and we've got a killer sense of humor. This means that even in our snarkiest moments, we know we will find a reason to crack up about it later.
In fact, some of our favorite stories are about moments of extreme mindlessness, and if truth be told, I tend to be the mindless one.
I know, I know. I'm supposed to be the mindfulness expert. Well, as I always insist, you can't be mindful of everything AT ONCE, right?
So, here is my favorite mindless moment--and what I learned from it....
While moving from Oregon to Montana several years ago, my husband was driving the U-Haul packed with all of our worldly possessions. Inside the cab of the truck with him was our second daughter, Tara, and our hyperactive yellow Lab, Thor. Meanwhile, I was driving behind him in the car with the other three daughters.
Hours passed. I obediently followed behind him, despite the fact that driving behind a big truck is, well, annoying. So, when we finally got to the mountain pass and the U-Haul was chugging along at 30 miles per hour, I felt it would be just fine if I passed him and made my way to Missoula. I figured I'd get to the new house first and get ready for the move-in.
I sailed happily along Montana highways (no posted speed limit), smiling to myself, excited to be heading to our new home. In fact, so thrilled was I that I didn't even stop to think that maybe Tom wasn't behind me. What could go wrong?
Well, everything. Unbeknownst to me, the truck's axle had broken, leaving Tom and Tara and Thor stranded along the road miles behind me. He tried to call me on my cell phone, but so blissful was I that I had, ahem, turned off my phone. They ended up hitching a ride in the filthy cab of a junk-hauling pick- up with three other people (hyper dog included) for over an hour to stay at a hotel (hyper dog included) until the next day when the truck was repaired.
Needless to say, I got an earful when we were all reunited in Missoula. I felt terrible, and yet I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of them stranded in Idaho with our out-of-control dog yanking our daughter hither and yon while Tom is calling my cell phone repeatedly.
Fortunately, Tom and Tara laughed about it too--eventually. What did I learn?
? It is possible to be mindless and happy at the same time.
? It is not possible to hear your cell phone when it is turned off.
? Be wary of U-Haul's promised "Adventure In Moving"...
? Stay connected, stay connected, stay connected.
? Sometimes it's better to go slowly, even if you're stuck behind a truck.
? Make sure you are married to someone who can laugh with you instead of holding a grudge.
? Mindless moments can lead to mindfulness.
? Marriage can make you more mindful--especially if you stick with it for twenty years.
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse in Portland, Oregon. Through her company, Real-World Mindfulness Training, she teaches fun and effective eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation. To subscribe to her free weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, please visit http://www.MassageYourMind.com
Wedding Planning: Clear Communication with Your Wedding Guests
Effective communication between you and your wedding guests is essential in the months leading up to your wedding. But in this stressful time, how can you maintain healthy relationships with your family and friends when you're flooded with questions and feeling in over your head?
The Perfect Bridal Makeup for Your Wedding Day
It's important that your makeup look its absolute best for your wedding day. Whether you plan to marry on a beach at noon or at night under the stars, by keep your makeup simple you will look and feel great. You don't want to much, nor too little, a natural look is very important. This is not the time to be experimenting with new looks. Your makeup should enhance your beauty not hide it. Here are some tips to help with you achieve your pefect bridal makeup:
The (American) Bride Wore Red
Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the formerly unthinkable -- getting married in a bold red gown.
Family Cycle (I) - Euphoric and Dysphoric Cycles in Marriage
Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and the feminists, the reasons to engage in marriage largely remain the same. True, there have been role reversals and new stereotypes have cropped up. But the biological, physiological and biochemical facts were less amenable to modern criticisms of culture. Men are still men and women are still women in more than one respect.
Symbolism of Wedding Rings
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed." -C.G. Jung
Its the Heart (and heat) of the Wedding Season - Sun & Heat Protection During an Outdoor Wedding
So, you decided to opt for an outdoor wedding under the sun amidst the lake, ocean or beach. Are you sure you have considered all the aspects of an outdoor wedding? Did you consider the fact that you and your guests are going to be outside for many hours throughout the day in the beating hot sun? Some people worry so much that it's going to rain or be cold that they completely forget to prepare themselves for the sun and the heat. The last thing you want is for you or your guests to be burnt for pictures and leave the wedding early because they are sun-fried. So here are some sun protection tips to keep in mind whether you're the bride, groom or guest at an outdoor wedding:
The Bigger the Carat the Better the Wedding?
Ahh . . . sweet romance.
Games For A Wedding Shower
Games for a wedding shower are the best ways to make the most of your merriment in a wedding shower party. There are a lot of unique and varied games for wedding showers like the fish pond, men or women-who are better off?, coffee pot, guess the answer, guess my name, weave a story, my secret friend, how well do you know the bride/ groom games? etc.
Jewish Wedding Rings - Traditions and Customs and How to Buy Smart
In a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, Jewish wedding rings play a very important role. In Jewish law, a verbal declaration is not enough to be married.
"Til death do us part" is still the language used in most weddings. Couples enter marriage with the hope of making a lifetime commitment. If this goal is not reached or if a spouse dies, the desire to be a couple is so ingrained that most will marry again.
Bridal Shower Basics
A bridal shower is an excellent way for the bride to surround herself with her closest friends and family and relax, loosen up and have some fun. The bride can also use this time to share the experiences of those that have already married, and in a general way, espouse her expectations and dreams for the new adventure she is about to enter. The bridal shower should be memorable for the bride-to-be and her guests and can be based on a particular theme, just like the wedding. Games, themes, decorations, and gifts are all important to include in the bridal shower. Many couples choose to have "couple showers," where both bride and groom are able to share the time together. Other brides choose to have their bridal showers in a creative 'themed' location ? a beautiful ocean-side resort comes to mind, for example. Using your unique ideas will help you create a distinctive setting for your event. While the goal is to have fun and enjoy the event, there are some simple plans you can follow to make your bridal shower a most memorable occasion for everyone involved.
Be Thankful for a Faithful Husband
If your husband is faithful, you have much to be thankful for. Faithful husbands are in short supply. While 3 out of 4 wives assume their husbands are faithful, only 1 wife in 4 can truthfully make that claim. According to statistics, 3 out of 4 men cheat on their wives. 2/3 of those wives (approximately 26 million women) have no idea their husbands are having an affair - despite the presence of numerous telltale signs.
Hot Wedding Trend: Platinum Wedding Rings
In our hungry-for-anything new pop culture world, celebrities are often the ones that can start a hot fashion trend seemingly overnight. With their heavy media exposure, they are often photographed wearing the latest styles in fashion and jewelry.
Business Partners & Marital Partners Will The Marriage Survive - Part I
With today's economy, and the layoffs occurring as a result of these economic conditions, more and more people are opting to start their own business. Due to the low start up costs, the prevalence of home-based businesses is on the rise, many of these started by husband and wife teams.
10 Valentines Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage
The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. While many spouses focus on Valentine's Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time and energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible-an improved, satisfying marriage.
Wedding Preparations - Tips To Get You to The Church On Time
For many brides, the wedding ceremony starts long before they walk down the aisle to stand beside their groom at the alter. For many, it is the preparation that they have dreamed about for so long. The spa day with the brides maids, the hair, the make up, fitting of the dress, putting the final touches on the flowers... these are all taken care of ceremoniously by the bride, and her brides maids. It is a time of pampering and luxury, that we seldom have an excuse for, except on the fabulous occasion of the wedding day.
Finding the Perfect Bridesmaid Gift
The bridesmaid gift is essential to the planning of a wedding. While many may believe that a wedding is all about the bride, it is still important to show appreciation to your bridesmaids. These are your right-hand ladies who have always been there for you. They have taken the time to be there and help you out on your special day and what better way of showing appreciation than getting them a bridesmaid gift. But how do you avoid getting a generic bridesmaid gift or something that they will just throw away when they get home? Here are some bridesmaid gift guidelines that should help you in your pursuit of finding the perfect bridesmaid gift.
Are American Women Driving Their Men Away?
Recently, I stumbled across something on the internet. A particular website caught my eye... and provided a solid hour or more of eye-opening reading. What was it?
Do-It-Yourself Wedding Invitation Guide
Think creatively and add a personal touch to your special event with do-it-yourself wedding invitations. When your friends inquire about the invitation designer, you can proudly say you did them yourself, just don't tell them it was easy.
The Charm of Homemade Wedding Favors
Homemade wedding favors come from a centuries old tradition of brides and grooms providing small gifts to wedding guests. Every culture across time has treated marriage as a wonderful event with the nuptials celebrated throughout the community. In many cultures the bride and groom are associated with good luck. A common thought among these cultures was, that every thing the couple touched would be charmed. By gifting members of the community, the couple would pass blessings to others for the rest of the year.
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