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Growing and Connecting with Your Spouse
Do you remember when there were no children in your life? Hanging out with your spouse was your first priority. You had fun going on dates. You had time to talk and share with each other your day's events. And sex was something you looked forward to. And then along came Ryan or Megan, and then maybe Benjamin or Kaylee. Suddenly, life became centered on your children. Time for each other as a couple was rare.
If you and your spouse plan to be a happy couple after the children have left, you need to grow and connect with each other today. While there are no guarantees that you and your spouse will be one of those cute, old couples in "When Harry Met Sally," there are things you can do to increase your odds.
When I think of the marriage ceremony, the unity candle is an excellent symbol for what should happen in marriage. Two candles (two people) come together to light one big candle (one team). A healthy marriage has unity. Always think of your spouse as a teammate. Create a marriage with a shared vision and shared goals.
Your husband should be your best friend, and you should be his. Your marriage is a place for intimacy, and being intimate means sharing completely and honestly who you are ? your feelings, likes and dislikes, your dreams, and what is important to you. Intimacy happens when both people can share anything and feel safe in doing so. You and your spouse will always be growing, so take the time to understand each other in every way ? socially, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Intimacy is only achieved by spending time together regularly.
Safety in marriage comes from knowing you can trust your partner completely. Being trustworthy means you love and respect your spouse. You keep your commitments and strive to treat each other with compassion and understanding. Your spouse needs to know without a doubt that you are not going anywhere, even when the going gets tough.
Every marriage has conflict and every couple has differences. In my marriage, we fight over disciplining the children, among other things. If you are going to grow and connect with your spouse, you have to learn to work through your disagreements. Make every effort to understand each other. Understanding comes about when you can listen with your heart. It's so much easier to brainstorm win-win solutions when there is a clear understanding of what is important to each partner.
Speaking of differences, the healthy couple accepts and embraces each other's strengths and weaknesses. If you think about it, there is a positive and a negative to every quality. I have a lot of compassion, but sometimes I am too sensitive. My husband provides structure in our family, but sometimes he is too rigid. When one spouse has a perceived weakness, often times the other balances it with a strength. For instance, my flexibility and his structure often conflict. However, our family needs both. Encourage the development of your spouse's strengths and be patient with the weaknesses.
When you spend time getting to know each other and sharing yourself, you will naturally feel affectionate. Sexual intimacy is an important element in marriage. In order for women to desire sex, there needs to be healthy emotional intimacy. And men, unfortunately, achieve emotional closeness through physical intimacy. It is important for each partner to work to satisfy the other's needs. Make the time to ignite the passion.
It is important for a couple to grow together, but it is also important for each person in the marriage to grow individually. It takes a lot of hard work and maintenance to make your marriage thrive, but it is well worth it. Your children need a model for a healthy marriage. And, when the children have left to start their own lives, won't it be nice to look at your spouse and say, "I want to spend the rest of my years with you, my friend?"
Lori Radun, certified life coach for moms. Get her FREE monthly ezine for moms who want healthier and happier lives at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com.
© 2005 True to You Life Coaching, LLC
Low Budget Wedding Reception
The reception alone will bust your wedding budget if you're notcareful. Of course, the most obvious way to save money on thereception is to keep it small. Where you host this grandoccasion could make or break you.
5 Tips To Keep Marital Bliss Alive After You Retire!
Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition for spouses. Ample free time and drastic lifestyle changes can be a burden or a blessing for your marriage. Regardless of whether one or both spouses retire, the secret to a smooth transition is planning before you retire. For example, if one or both of you have been task-driven individuals with their own careers, a 7/24 marriage may not be to your liking. Retiring couples who have lived independent and relatively separate lives may become frustrated and bored being joined at the hip. Others may rejoice in spending more time with each other. The most important step to take prior to retiring is:
Marriage Advice: Upgrade Your Marriage By Changing Your Focus
As the story goes, a Cherokee elder was sitting with his grandchildren. He told them, "In every life there is a terrible fight-a fight between two wolves. One is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, and deceit. The other is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion."
How To Choose Your Wedding Cake
One of my favorite parts about the wedding, is the cake. Over time many things have changed with weddings, but one thing that stays the same, there is always a beautiful cake. The wedding cake is a big part of the wedding, and something 'everyone" remembers. So when deciding on which cake is right for your perfect day, there are many factors to take into consideration.
8 Questions Brides Ask About Setting up a Wedding Registry
In theory, setting up a registry is simple. You decide on one or several stores, create a registry online or in person, select various items, and get the word out to your guests. In practice, things are a little more complicated -- but only a little!
What Happens If You Dont Wear Proper Wedding Shoes?
Here comes the bride! Walking through the alley confidence holding her father's arm, but suddenly the shoes slip and she fell down. Wow?knocks on wood, hope that don't happen you.
10 Secrets to a Successful Stress-Free Wedding
Your wedding is supposed to be the most important day in a your life, and yet for many, just getting there in one piece is harder than fitting stilettos on an elephant. Why is it so difficult? The biggest problem is stress and how the interplay of all the different participants at your wedding adds or subtract from that stress. Here are some wedding ideas to have a truly successful and happy wedding.
Your Wedding Invitation?s in the (e)Mail: Pros and Cons of the Virtual Wedding Invitation
From purchasing the garter to choosing the photographer, brides (and grooms!) are online and as the Internet's many advantages have begun to permeate most every aspect of wedding planning, a single question has been popping up more and more: can I use the Internet for my wedding invitations? As a wedding website designer I've answered numerous emails from brides asking if an email announcement to visit their wedding website can not just supplement their wedding invitation but actually replace it. It's an interesting idea, one with the potential to save a great deal of time and money. However, one big question remains. Is it acceptable? Considering the potential benefits, it's certainly a question worth asking, and some compelling arguments can be found on both sides. First, consider the many purposes of a wedding invitation. Most obvious is the intent that the recipient understands who is invited. Also important is the inclusion of maps and directions, RSVP information, reply cards and essential wedding details. Furthermore, the wedding invitation is an expression of the couple's personal style and can serve as a memento for friends and family to remember the event. Considering all these essential functions, the question, then, is whether the traditional wedding invitation can be replaced by a simple email invitation to visit the couple's site online. Certainly, a creative and informative wedding website can serve the majority of the purposes mentioned. In fact, wedding details might be more specific and useful on a website given the amount of space that can be afforded an entire page devoted to each subject. One can easily give details and links to important wedding locations, schedules, maps, etc. Also, if the bride and groom are able to create their own site or find a designer they like, they can certainly express their own unique style and theme on a wedding website. But what about the empty space in grandma's album just waiting for her granddaughter's wedding invitation? Here is where an online invitation falls short. One solution, however, could be to purchase or make a wedding CD with the website on it. Technologically hip grandparents can treasure this memento like they would a written invitation (even if it doesn't go well in an album).Still can't decide? Consider some of the pros and cons of the "virtual invitation":Pros:*Save money on wedding invitations (certainly the most compelling argument for many). The cost of an online invitation, including one designed by a reasonably priced professional, should be considerably less than sending written invitations for an average sized wedding when factoring in the cost of the printing, postage, and reply cards.*Save the time of selecting and sending written invitations, especially if you were going to have a wedding website anyway.*Make things a little easier for those guests who already do a great deal online.*Receive RSVP responses via email.*Include links to maps and directions.*Have wedding details laid out for guests to avoid the bother of answering the same questions over and over.*Include important links so guests can find the information they need on such things as local attractions, accommodations, and travel (particularly useful for destination weddings).Cons:*Compiling all of your guests' current email addresses can be a daunting task.*Not everyone is online. Unless you know for a fact that you can get your email invitation to everyone who should receive one, this is not a good option. You never want to offend family and friends when planning a wedding.*Etiquette, etiquette, etiquette. If etiquette is particularly important to you or the people who will be receiving your invitations, this is not the right choice for you.For those who are thinking the whole "virtual invitation" is too drastic a change I suggest a compromise. Many couples are finding that combining the modern with the traditional is the way to go until all their friends and family have caught on to the Internet. The couple's web address can be included in the traditional invitation so their guests can have two sources for wedding information. Also, written invitations can be sent with instructions to RSVP online thus saving the couple time and money for postage and reply cards (with just a slight bend in tradition). In the end, whether it's traditional, modern or modern-traditional, what matters most is that the bride and groom have the wedding they desire. The best advice I can give is don't worry too much about tradition and etiquette; rather, spend the time planning the wedding of your dreams and maybe make some traditions of your own along the way.copyright 2003 Tamara Baker and Celebrate Our Lives Wedding Websites
How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress
You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made it a major focus of your pre wedding planning. There are some things you need to find from the bridal shop, before you even look at your first gown. Do you need to make an appointment to visit the shop? Does the store carry dresses you can afford Can you browse the whole collection, or do you only get to see the dresses the sales person chooses for you? If this shop doesn't carry the dress you love, can it be ordered?
Wedding Flowers: How It Emulates Your Personality
Your wedding day, what is presumed to be the happiest day and the start of your new life. The excitement of all the preparations, and so many things to do to make it perfection. Choosing the perfect flowers is an important part of not only the reception, but also the actual service itself. I think you would find it extremely rare not to see flowers at a wedding.
The Runaway Brides ( & Grooms)
The 1999 Julia Roberts movie 'Runaway Bride' is about a woman who gets nervous about marriage and runs away at the last minute, leaving the groom at the altar. If you thought this happened only in reel life, the running away recently of Jennifer Wilbanks, a 32-year-old from Georgia who concocted a kidnapping story to escape the wedding, should prove otherwise. The incident caused a lot of discussion in the media, with many discussing similar wedding jitters that caused them to break off their wedding at the last minute.
Mens Moissanite Wedding Rings, or Is Moissanite a Mans Best Friend?
As mens wedding rings become more and more popular mens moissanite wedding rings become popular at an even faster rate. Wedding rings for men are here to stay and so are mens moissanite wedding rings.
Wedding Flower Ideas
Your wedding flowers cover all button holes, all the bouquets, the decoration in the church, reception venue, and top table centerpiece if appropriate. So you can see it covers quite a large part of the decoration of the day.
Heavenly Bahamas Honeymoon Resorts
Celebrating under the attentive care of Bahamas honeymoon resorts, there might be no better way to commence a marriage. Consisting of over 700 mostly-uninhabited islands, Bahamas has a lot of territory to encounter during your trip. Bahamas honeymoon packages can put you in touch with several different tropical paradises during any given vacation. You will never be without something new to experience. Even your second or third Bahamas honeymoon will be as fresh and unique as the first.
Caribbean Honeymoon Vacation - a Fancy Trip!
This season, a Caribbean honeymoon vacation will give you unlimited joy. Holidaying in the rich, tropical Caribbean honeymoon resorts is the best way to start a blissful married life for many a couple. The pristine beaches and the rainforests give you an idea that this exotic land of human craving can give you the riches.
Marriage and the Election
Dear Friends of Marriage,
Las Vegas Theme Weddings
"Las Vegas theme weddings are the envy of the world. Nowhere else on planet earth can you find such a dazzling array of choices for a theme wedding. If you can't find it in Las Vegas, it simply doesn't exist! Here's a partial list of just some of the different themes available in Las Vegas:
The Gracious Bride
The key to being a gracious bride is to be genuine, thoughtful and courteous if you can pull this off making sure you have a good time as well as everyone else the day should be memorable.
6 Ways to Save Money on Wedding Invitations
Inviting your possible guests on your wedding day can be costly. You have to give them traditional wedding cards to inform them of the date and venue, and possibly those cards are made of elegant or high quality papers and other materials that might cost a lot. If your goal is to save money, then you should think of cost ? effective alternatives to send out cards to your guests. Here are some tips.
Second Marriages. Estate Planning Concerns
One of the biggest areas of dispute in estate planning is with second marriages. Here is a question I received. I've changed the facts around so that I am not giving specific legal advice.
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