|Home||Local Vendors||Wedding Statistics||Bridal Shows||Wedding Planning||free use of articles||Submit An Article||Contact Us|
Infidelity: How ?My Marriage Made Me Do It? is a Cop-out
Ask someone why they had, or are having an affair and you may hear something like this: "I have a lousy marriage. My marriage is dead. There is no intimacy, no sex, and no excitement. The love is gone. We've grown apart. I can't stand the marriage. There was nothing happening in the marriage and the affair just happened."
These statements are rationalizations and fail to "get at" the underlying issues.
1. It's as if a marriage is an animal gone bad. A marriage does not have a life of it's own. In reality, there is no such thing as a "marriage." One is "married" as a result of making some promises and signing a paper at one point. After the paper is signed, two people continue communicating and acting toward one another in particular ways that they hope will help them get what they individually want. Just as there is no "marriage," there is no such thing as a "relationship." There are, however, ways of relating for which each person is responsible. Remember the comedian Flip Wilson (that dates me) and his "The devil made me do it" skit?
2. We idealize "marriage" or "romantic relationships" with the expectation we will get what we want, without much effort to boot. The movies, popular public press and romance novels/stories don't help much here. A "marriage" is behind the eight ball from the word go. "IT" can't win.
3. From day one most of us don't have a clue about how to get, build, nurture and maintain healthy and intimate ways of relating. We need 'love 101' and it's not there. We rely upon experimentation or bad models.
4. If the "marriage" is dead, why in the world would one choose to have an affair? Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It really is stupid. You add a whole layer of deceit and shame that eventually will result in consequences more dire than approaching your spouse and saying, "I'm really unhappy. What I'm doing with you obviously is not working. I want out." Oh well, maybe some people need more problems and suffering.
5. If the "marriage" is bad, obviously, I don't have to look at me. I can blame "it" or the other. Some of us find it difficult to look at me. Some of us don't know how to look at me. Some of us never think of looking at me.
Tip: If your partner/spouse is having and affair and blames it on the "marriage," don't buy into it. The "marriage" is not the problem. You are not the problem. Your spouse/partner chose the affair out of ignorance, fear or inadequacy.
The "My Marriage Made Me Do It" is just one of 7 affairs outlined in my E-book, "Break Free From the Affair." For more information on the issues behind the other kinds of affairs and tips for dealing with them, go to: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/cmd.php?ad=139627
Wedding Centerpiece Ideas
Everybody who has decided to marry wants their day to be special and they want every aspect of their day to be just so. When it comes right down to it just how important are your wedding centerpiece ideas?
Nobody, I repeat nobody likes a bridezilla bride. If you feel this feeling taking hold of your higher thinking processes fight it! Fight it will every fiber of your being, if you don't your friends may never forgive you. I am speaking, from experience of my close friend. She has never been a bride, but often been a bridesmaid. You know what they say; always a bridesmaid, never a bride but I keep my hopes up. But back to the bridezilla thing, it is too easy for the bride to get carried away and wrapped up in all of the planning. And oftentimes if she has a wedding planner she will be inclined to take all of this planners words as gospel. This unfortunately often hurts the bridesmaid's chances of looking pretty during the ceremony. I don't know what it is with ugly bridesmaid dresses but they seem to be the popular thing to choose among brides. This is one wedding tradition that does not seem to be in any danger of being lost, like ever.
10 Valentines Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage
The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. While many spouses focus on Valentine's Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time and energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible-an improved, satisfying marriage.
Wedding Planning 101: Create a Wedding Planner
Did your wonderful husband-to-be recently "pop the question" and now you are wondering what on earth you have gotten yourself into with trying to plan a wedding? Don't panic! I was there once and I remember the first few weeks of having no idea what to do or where to start. Our wedding date was only five months away and I was completely clueless as to what type of ceremony I wanted, what colors I liked, who would officiate, where the wedding would take place, and on and on the endless unknowns went. There seemed to be an enormous amount of details to figure out, and time was running out.
Planning a Special Wedding Shower
The wedding shower is a traditional party of the marriage process. Often times the bridal party, or the people who have been asked to be in the wedding, will through the party for the couple. Or, other times, friends or family members will hold it for them. Making a wedding shower memorable starts with planning. First, you need to decide if the party will be formal or relaxed and laid back. Often times, large families will have a formal wedding shower for the bride and groom which may include a fancy dinner at a nice restaurant. Other times, some of the brides close friends will get together at a house and throw a small get together for them. Either way, once this choice is made, the planning begins.
Helping The Control Freak Plan The Wedding
My daughter and fiancé have finally set the "big day" but now comes the fun part of helping the control freak plan the wedding. The control freak being my daughter.
Weddings Abroad ? Does Paradise Come At A Price?
For some couples, jetting off to their dream location would be the most romantic way to tie the knot. And with weddings abroad being generally much cheaper than having the big day at home, it would seem that this would be the ideal solution for every bride and groom. Well, not quite. The main problem with pledging your vows abroad is that you are giving up much of the control of the wedding preparations, simply because you can't go along and check out things beforehand. Therefore it's crucial that you choose your travel company carefully.
How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No.1
Henry Vlll and Elizabeth Taylor, who between them had fourteen spouses, would have had quite a few headaches planning their weddings. There would be the obvious ones ? Shall I wear white for my marriage to Eddie Fisher? After all, even though this is my fourth wedding I am only 27 and white looks magnificent on me! And the less obvious ones ? Should I invite all my ex ex ex wives' relatives to the wedding? For if the truth be known, I've always been more fond of them, than of her.
Bridal Budget Beware
Getting hitched, taking the plunge, tying the knot, jumping the broom--whatever you call it, chances are you know it ain't cheap to say "I do."
Diamond hunting can be quite traumatic for the uninitiated. It is a big purchase and often one that has high emotional content. Simply knowing the facts before you start can ease the pressure. It also helps for the vendors to know you have some idea of what you are looking at.
Mattresses and Marriage ? a Match Made in Heaven
Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important to all of us, even the honeymooners. A good night sleep is critical for our performance the next day and for our health and well being in general. If the couple is not used to sleeping together, there will be just the issues of getting used to sleeping with someone. You don't need the extra strain and complications of a mattress that is uncomfortable for one or both parties. My comfort in bed may not be yours. I like a soft mattress even though I have a bad back. My husband likes something that is more firm. There are mattresses on the market that boast the capability of adjusting the firmness to each person's preference. That sounds great, but these mattresses aren't inexpensive. In fact, most mattresses and box spring sets will set you back a few bills. In order for your chances of a better night sleep to be greater, I strongly advise for the new couple to pick out the mattress together instead of one person bringing a mattress into the marriage. That also feels better doesn't it? I don't like the idea of a "used" mattress coming into a marriage. This should be new just as the marriage is new. If the couple shops together for the new mattress set, there is a better chance they will find one that fits both their needs. Do the rest test in the store as most retailers won't let you take one home and then return it; they frown on that from a hygienic aspect.
What You Should Look For In A Professional Wedding DJ
When planning your event you should go with the most qualified individual or company to produce the results your looking for, it's as simple as that. In this illustration we list the skills we feel should be of high importance to you to achieve those results.
Men?s Moissanite Wedding Rings To Beat Other Gifts Any Day
Whoever said diamonds are women's best friends, surely missed on mentioning men! Believe it or not, men too go bonkers over these sparks. When it comes to the glitters, man or woman, there's no exception! So if your man's crazy about the ember, men's moissanite wedding rings would just be a perfect wedding gift for him. Men's moissanite wedding rings make an apt choice.
For Second Weddings Only - Eight Tips
Planning a second wedding? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second wedding, to the first wedding. It isn't tricky but it will take some thought. Whether guests will or will not compare weddings is likely to be determined by the bride's status.
Beach Wedding Cakes
Looking for beach theme wedding cake ideas?
The Maid of Honor ? Remember, It?s All About the Bride!
The term and role "Maid of Honor" is sometimes confusing, and desperately needs some clear definition! When a Bride is choosing who will be her MOH, she needs to think about who will offer her the support, the helping hand, and the positive attitude she will need on her wedding day and the months leading up to it.
Wonderful White Gold Wedding Rings
The elegant and sophisticated look of glittering, gleaming gold. There's nothing quite like it.
Anniversary Gifts that Say I Love You
Exchanging anniversary gifts is a long standing tradition. Many couples seek out traditional gifts for each year of marriage, but others prefer "modern" gifts. Below you'll find a few ideas to say "I love you" on your special day.
Dealing With Your Spouses Sexual Past
"Couples who've had sex before marriage will inevitably have sexual difficulties in marriage."
Planning A Wedding? Tips On How To Attend A Bridal Show
If you're getting married, a Bridal Show is a great place to get started. Since 1996, I have attended or participated in over 150 Bridal Shows, and I thought I would pass on some tips to you, to make your trip a little easier. You can find local Bridal Shows being held anywhere from malls to hotels, convention centers and wedding facilities. You can expect to see anywhere from 10 to over 100 wedding vendors, and every single one of them is competing for your business. What to do? How to start? What to bring?
|Wedding Professionals in every state from Disc Jockeys & Photography to Wedding Invitations & Wedding Coordinators and free service including Sunset Times, Bridal Shows Wedding Planning Call us at 1-866 My Weddings|