|Home||Local Vendors||Wedding Statistics||Bridal Shows||Wedding Planning||free use of articles||Submit An Article||Contact Us|
Faulty Expectations: 4 Essential Don?ts
The more realistic you are as you prepare for marriage, the more likely you are to have a successful one. Therefore, it is incumbent upon you to give serious consideration to your expectations of your fiancé. Are they realistic? Are they fair?
Far too many couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations of the marriage and of each other. In more marriages than we would choose to believe, couples inability to meet the other's expectations resulted in the marriage's premature demise.
Here are 4 don'ts that if adhered to will avert a lot of discord and emotional turmoil in the marriage and help to make your marriage a satisfying one.
1) Don't expect your partner to be able to read your mind. It is unfair, unrealistic and nescient. Some people get an attitude and break marital harmony because they did not get the "gift" they expected or wanted, yet they did not communicate this to their spouse. Our minds are too complex and changing for anyone to know what we are thinking. TELL your partner what you want or be open to accepting whatever is given you in the spirit in which it is given. Of course, this is not only in regards to the material but to behaviors as well. Let your partner know what your expectations are. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
2) Don't think you are going to have a "perfect" marriage. To do so is to set yourself up for an enormous let-down. There is no such thing. How can anyone expect a perfect marriage when there is no perfect person? You are as imperfect as your intended wife or husband. If a person was inane enough to try to do everything you wanted them to do and behave exactly as you dictated, you would still have an imperfect marriage and one does not have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why.
3) Don't believe your partner can make you happy. Come on now. Wake up and smell the coffee. No one has the power to make us happy. This is something we can only do for ourselves and it is a choice. For example, let's say your new husband/wife decided to cook a special meal for you with all the trimmings. You are both surprised and delighted. Now, did he/she make you happy? NO. You made yourself happy. How? In recognizing his/her thoughtfulness in going through the trouble of creating this meal, you chose to appreciate what was done for you which had a positive affect and you felt "happy." Take the same scenario only this time you are displeased. You don't like what was cooked and think your spouse should have "known" this and you choose to display an attitude of disapproval. Negative feelings are evoked and what was intended to be pleasant turns ugly. Did your spouse make you unhappy? NO. You made yourself unhappy. How? By chosing to be non-appreciative and negative in your thinking which resulted in a negative affect, "unhappiness or displeasure." In other words, how each individual choose to interpret events, behaviors, communications determines how each individual will "feel". Negative feelings cannot be produced by positive thoughts.
4) Don't be on police stake-out patrol. No human wants to feel they are being watched 24/7 or need to give an account for every place they go or justify for everything they do. Nor do they want you following them like a shadow. No couple want their partner with them all the time. We all need space to grow, space to share with others, space to be alone. Don't expect your partner to want to do everything with you. If you have trust issues, deal with it BEFORE you say "I Do."
Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. http://www.clergyservices4u.org. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, will be available in July.
Setting a diamond - What to know.
When it comes to placing your new diamond in a setting there are a couple of things to take into consideration.
After Wedding Tips - Five Tips for a Great Marriage - (That Produces The Good Feelings That Last)
Here are five seeds of a great marriage from grandmother. Tips that produced hundreds of "the good feelings" that last. You can start growing together now by talking about this before the wedding, during and after the wedding too.
Love on the Internet
People are looking for life-long relationships in the most peculiar places. There's the favourite haunt ? the hotel. Here, the optimists imagine they're going to meet a partner who never drinks or swears, apparently having accidentally stumbled into the hotel while seeking directions to the nearest church.
Marriage and the Election
Dear Friends of Marriage,
Hawaii Honeymoon Vacations - Romanticizing Your Honeymoon!
Hawaii honeymoon vacations could take you to a miracle trip to the most enchanting beaches of Hawaii. There are beaches, long and beautiful across the world but none of them could be a match for the ultimate Hawaii beaches. The Big Island of Hawaii especially has activities like scuba diving and snorkeling to enjoy. Some of the well known beaches in the Big Island are at Kohala coast, Kona District, Hilo District, Puna and Kau districts. Then there are other beaches which are equally exotic and bewitching like Maui beaches, Kauai beaches, Oahu beaches etc.
Intimacy, What is It Really?
Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love. It's more than the physical or even emotional connection you feel with your partner. Intimacy involves a soul connection between two people.
Fiji Honeymoon Vacations
If you are looking forward to a vacation of attractive rainforest, pine, scenic tall mountains and miles of warm sandy beaches, Fiji honeymoon vacations are just what you need. This island archipelago wonderland consists of 330 islands scattered across 200,000 square miles of ocean, several thousand of which are just too small for human habitation. The larger islands of Fiji are mainly of volcanic origin with high rugged terrain, whereas the smaller ones consist of coral or limestone, with little tropical vegetation. Additionally, most of the islands are made up of surrounding coral reefs and lagoons, just superb for snorkeling and diving activities.
The Pros & Cons of Beach Weddings
Beach weddings are popular but they do present "special issues".
Current Trends in Wedding Photography
Wedding photography is an evolving field that requires artistic talent, vision, and highly technical expertise.
Marriage Tips: Breathe Your Way to a Happier Marriage
One way to increase your chances of enjoying a happy marriage is to remember to breathe deeply. Are you surprised by this recommendation? You're probably not the only one.
The Wide Range of Maui Wedding Ceremonies
Whatever your religious affiliation, or whatever you'd like to experience, there is a Maui wedding ceremony that will suit you. A lot of people prefer the traditional Hawaiian wedding ceremony and there is an interesting tale to tell about that.
How to Make Your Wedding Vows Something You?ll Remember Forever
If you're going the increasingly popular route of personalizing your own wedding vows, you're probably looking for some tips to make your vows as special, meaningful, and eloquent as you can. This is something that will take time beforehand so that you can prepare yourself and become completely comfortable with what you're saying. Remember, you're not just saying pretty words, you're stating your wedding vows -- words from the heart that aim to express if only a fraction of how important this bond of love is to you.
How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon
1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or more. The big question is: who foots the bill?
Marriage Advice: Twelve Steps to Creating an Affair-Proof Marriage
There's no way to absolutely guarantee that your marriage won't be blindsided by an affair on your part or your spouse's, but there are definite steps you can take to greatly reduce the probability of that happening.
A Wedding Shower Checklist
Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are great fun. They are known as parties with a purpose. The purpose of a shower is to assist the couple in equipping their new home or for the bride to assemble a trousseau. Not only that, but they are a good excuse for the bride to get together with her friends and family to play hilarious games and to enjoy the food and wine.
Save on Wedding Costs and Have that Chocolate Fountain
Chocolate fountains, once a rarity at weddings, are becoming more common -- but no less beloved. Still, they pose a budget crunch for many brides, coming in at only slightly under the cost of the wedding cake -- and that's for a one-day rental!
3 Emerging Trends In Custom Invitations
There is an overwhelming demand for high quality, custom stationery that really reflects the bridal couple's style, personality, and wedding. It doesn't stop at the wedding invitation set anymore! It seems every modern bridal couple is opting to have their entire stationery ensemble done by a custom invitation house. As weddings become more sophisticated, the need for chic stationery quickly evolves into a necessity.
Planning a Special Wedding Shower
The wedding shower is a traditional party of the marriage process. Often times the bridal party, or the people who have been asked to be in the wedding, will through the party for the couple. Or, other times, friends or family members will hold it for them. Making a wedding shower memorable starts with planning. First, you need to decide if the party will be formal or relaxed and laid back. Often times, large families will have a formal wedding shower for the bride and groom which may include a fancy dinner at a nice restaurant. Other times, some of the brides close friends will get together at a house and throw a small get together for them. Either way, once this choice is made, the planning begins.
Now You?re Engaged, How Do You Choose A Mens Wedding Ring?
So, you've just got engaged.
Wedding Planning: Prioritize to Stay Within Your Wedding Budget
So you're planning your wedding and a thousand decisions must be made! It can be an exciting, but tiring experience to pull off the wedding of your dreams, especially within your budget.
|Wedding Professionals in every state from Disc Jockeys & Photography to Wedding Invitations & Wedding Coordinators and free service including Sunset Times, Bridal Shows Wedding Planning Call us at 1-866 My Weddings|