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Women and Marital Issues According to Internet
Following is a list of question that, I believe, can lead to an in-depth discussion on this most vital issue. I hope you can take advantage of this opportunity to avail yourself of these questions in any appropriate situation.
QUESTIONNAIRE ON WOMEN'S ROLE IN CHURCH AND SOCIETY
1- Should women be given equal opportunity along with men in employment in all cases? What about the military? What about sports? If not, explain.
2- Should women receive equal pay for equal work alongside men?
3- Do you feel one should lower the quality standards in a certain situation solely to prevent genderdiscrimination?
4- Who has the major responsibility for nurturing a child in a marriage; Or financially supporting the home: The man or the woman? Why?
A) What is the prime purpose of a marriage?
B) What are the economic factors that could affect your conception of what a marriage arrangement should be, and what could be done to change this situation if it needs changing?
C) What are the career interest factors that could affect your conception of what a marriage arrangement should be, and what could be done to change this situation if it needs changing?
5- Are the woman's major responsibilities in life to have children and take care of the home?
6- What are the physical and emotional differences between men and women that might affect their role in life?
7- What might be the role of a woman in Church? What about ordination to any of the following offices: Deacon, Elder, Pastor, Priest or Bishop?
8- If man were to rule over woman at the beginning of time because woman came from man according to Genesis 2:21-23, why did God say that man should rule over woman after the Fall (Gen 3:16)? A) Could you say that man and woman became equal or helpmates once again after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (Gal 3:28)?
9- Could one of the reasons why Jesus only chose men as Apostles be that even though the Gospels are in the New Testament, they are really part of the Old Testament whereby women were still thought to be submissive to men as a result of the Fall?
10- Doesn't being the head and being submissive in and of themselves create an inequality?
11- In reading Paul's letters, should you consider that everything that Paul wrote as being a universal truth, or should you distinguish within his writings what's universal and what's locally situational?
12- If women are treated more as unique individuals, instead of as sex objects, would this lessen the need for pornographic scenarios some men have?
13- Do you believe that as more and more churches use ordained women clergy, women clergy would be more acceptable within Christian religious circles?
14- As more churches accept women clergy, do you feel Christianity offers women more equality than any other major world religion?
15- Do you feel a woman pastor could more effectively counsel a women counselee than a male pastor could? Why, or why not?
16- Do you feel that if more and more Christians experience the pastoral leadership qualities that some women possess, that women clergy ordination would become less and less of a divisive issue within the Christian Church?
17- Do you feel one should never be judged solely by gender as to what one can or can not do in life? I do, but what do you think?
On Internet, I asked question # 1, and received 9 responses, which were really mixed in opinions, but I do feel that there should be an equal opportunity for women to be employed in all professions without lowering the entry standards in such professions, and even if some professions don't seem to lend themselves to femine abilities. They should still at least have the opportunity to prove otherwise. And women should also receive equal pay for equal work as well. But if they just want to be housewives instead, that's OK too. What do you think about this whole area of concern?
A 2nd Internet Question: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY DIVORCES AND SEPARATIONS IN THE WORLD TODAY?
1) Corbin says: I believe this is because that most people really are not prepared for marriage to begin with.
Two suggestions I would make concerning this are 1) that there should be a 3 to 6 month counseling period for a couple before they get married, and 2) marriage counseling should be a continuous process from the crib to adulthood with an emphasis on the responsibilityof having children.
2) Marilyn says: Corbin, I absolutely agree with you. I think a three to six month period of Biblical counselingwould be ideal. However, the reality is there will always be single moms and I would like to see the church help these women so they don't have to work. (and I think that's a Biblical position too).
3) John says: Good topic. These suggestions probably will help, but unfortunately in reality both partiesto a marriage don't put enough effort in to save their marriages, and they think divorce is an easy way out. And it's especially bad for the kids in these marriages.
4) Jim says: Corbin, I definately agree with you that there should be more preparation before marriage.I believe that the best time to educate children about marriage and relationships is in high school. I don't think that marriage and child rearing education need to go hand in hand. Many couples choose not to have children. I think what is important is that young people need to be taught about expectations - what's realistic and what's not. Young people should be taught more about how to really get to know someone, and that takes time...and definitely not to rush into anything.
5) Jill says: Pre-nup counseling and teaching proper expectations are great ideas, but I'm not sure itwould work in the real world when you're actually involved in a real commitment. It's like trench warfare. You really don't know how you're going to react until you're fired upon.
6) Joan says: I believe society encourages divorce, and that we have to pass stricter laws governing divorce, especially when children are involved. It's really not necessarily greener on the other side of the fence.
7) Jay says: I think one of the problems young people have in contemplating marriage is that they have toget on the other side of the wall of their infatuation for each other, so they can really get to know each other before they make a lasting commitment.
8) Cliff says: A pastor I know has always required counseling sessions for couples who wanted to be married by him. Otherwise he wouldn't marry them.
9) Jane says: My husband and I only knew each other for 3 months when we got married and I was pregnantat the time. But over time we found out what true love was all about. Despite this, I feel counseling before or after a marriage is always a good thing.
10) Mary says. Actually, example is the supreme teacher in building relationships.
11) Arthur says: Respect and caring for another more than ourselves is the very essence of love.
12) Sarah says. I was married twice. The first for 16 years in a miserable marriage. I tried to make it a success, but couldn't. The second turned out to be a dream of a marriage for 20 years. So sometimes divorce is necessary.
13) Mathew says: In Australia there are what is known as "Marriage Enrichment Weekends" which help to strengthen marriages that are already in existence.
14) Steve says: First, there has to be a common, mutual bond before getting romantically involved.Then there is agape love, one that loves without condition. Jesus, during His ministry, was about that. My wife and I are Christians, serving the Lord with our marriage and our lives. We have been through many trials and frustrations within the 5 years we've been married. But it is Christ that has strengthened us. Preparation for marriage is more than the wedding. It takes a commitment on both parties to seek out for the others well-being, but first and foremost to seek after what the Lord desires for both their lives.
15) Shirley says: I think the big problem is that so many kids grow up in families with bad role modelsfor parents. Bad marriages breed children who grow up and enter bad marriages. Young people jump into marriage thinking it is going to be the answer to all their problems and they will live happily ever after without realizing the difficulties involved. Couples look at their parents and think they will not make the same mistakes but then they marry and do the exact same things. Even after some counseling, more often than not, the young couple are so in love and planning the wedding that they are not planning for the marriage. Young people should realize that marriage is a vocation. It is a lifetime commitment and jumpingship when the going gets tough should not be an option. I am a firm believer that if two people once loved each other, even if they think it has died, it can be revived, with work and perseverence.
16) Corbin says: To help one prepare for marriage and a lasting relationship, I have a list of questions oneshould really ask oneself about one's partner. See below. The most difficult problem in relationships is actually one's attitude toward money. Marriage really should be based on a cold calculated decision, NOT on some madly pasionate romantic desire. In other words, you should marry your best friend, NOT your best lover. Many times I think there's more effort exerted in planning the wedding rather than the marriage.
A 3rd Internet Question: WHAT IS THE ROLE WOMEN SHOULD PLAY IN LIFE?
Corbin says: Although a number of respondees mentioned that the role of men and women can be different depending upon the circumstance, which I agree with, I believe women should be free to pursue any activity that they so desire, and feel qualified to undertake. In looking at Scripture, it states paraphrasing "In Christ, there is neither male nor female" (Gal 3:28), so that much of what it says about women in Scripture could be a situational local truth according to Paul, and not a Universal Truth. Many on these websites also interpret Scripture literally in that every word that's in the Bible comes from the mouth of God. I disagree in that the Bible, I believe, could be thought of as a baby carriage carrying the baby, and we have to distinguish between Universal Truths (the perfect baby) and the situational local truths (the baby carriage, which can have some errors on it) concerning the role that women might play. And why Jesus only chose men as Apostles instead of women could be that theGospels were written as really part of the Old Testament whereby women became free again after the resurrection. What do you think?
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF ABOUT YOUR PARTNER THAT COULD HELP BUILD A STRONGRELATIONSHIP, IF YOU CAN LIVE WITH THE ANSWERS
A) Personality Traits
1) has good taste in choice of clothes.
16) believes too strongly that the church knows best in all things.
27) worries about his or her health.
33) enjoys being with me.
43) sees sex as more than physical love.
F) Personality Traits II
54) faces our life together with confidence.
67) has a family that is more or less cultured and/or educated than mine.
82) enjoys and sees humor in situations and jokes that are funny to me.
88) is willing to work hard for success.
99) worries about spending money for pleasure.100) understands "the cost of living".
110) believes in me and in my love.
125) will treat me as his or her equal in marriage.
AN AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH
I was born in New York City in 1931, grew up on Long Island, graduated from Roanoke College in Virginia with a BA in Political Science, and from New York Theological Seminary with a Masters in Religious Education. I became a committed Christian in 1958, and after a number of years became a committed Ecumenical Christian. I worked as an accountant in various companies for about 25 years in New York City, then moved down to Argentina and worked for about 21 years as a Business Englishconversationalist teacher with some of the top managers. I also became a Stephen Minister (trained counselor) while down here. I was married twice (the last to an Argentine), widowed once, have no children and one cat. If you want to contact me, you can write to me via (firstname.lastname@example.org).
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