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New Findings on Happiness Have Implications for Rocky Marriages
Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine's "Eight Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life" suggestions (Time, January 17, 2005, p. A8-A9) increase their own level of happiness, they also increase the odds that they can keep their marriage.
The same actions that can lead to a more satisfying life are the ones that can help to improve a troubled marriage. Two of the Time suggestions are to count your blessings by keeping a gratitude journal and to learn to forgive.
These same steps are necessary to maximize a spouse's efforts to cope with a marriage that is in danger of falling apart. In their book Keep Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Spouse says "I don't love you anymore" co-authors Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. and Lee Hefner also advise spouses to keep a gratitude journal.
According to Wasson and Hefner, this might seem like a strange recommendation, but it's when things aren't going well that you most need to look for the positive things that are present in your life. They write, "A gratitude journal gives you a nudge to remind yourself of the many blessings already present in your life...Being aware of your blessings gives you a broader, more balanced perspective of your life."
This, they contend, jump starts the process of being able to see an increased number of positives instead of overlooking them as people in crisis often do. While spouses may start out listing positives such as watching a beautiful sunset, the process makes it easier for them to begin noticing what's right about their partner and marriage instead of only focusing on the negative aspects.
The co-authors also agree with the Time suggestion of learning to forgive as a key ingredient in a happy life. They state that "Forgiveness involves letting go of resentment and blame. It's something that you do for yourself when you are ready to let go of depleting anger." Wasson and Hefner contend that shaky marriages are usually full of grudges and hurts from the past.
According to Dr. Wasson, "Someone has to take the lead in making healthy changes that can change the present dynamics of blame and resentment. One partner deciding to forgive themselves and the partner for not being perfect can have an amazing impact on the marriage and its chances to survive the crisis."
The Time article recommends writing a letter of forgiveness to the person who has hurt or wronged you. Co-author Hefner sees this as a "courageous step of taking responsibility for your own happiness and well-being, as well as the health of your relationship."
According to the Time article, University of Illinois psychologist Edward Diener, a.k.a. Dr. Happiness, has found that loss of a spouse is one of two life events that seem to "knock people lastingly below their happiness set point." (The other is loss of a job.) Seventy-three percent of participants in a recent Time poll responded that their relationship with their spouse or partner or their love life is a major source of happiness.
Based on the current findings, Wasson and Hefner state that it makes more sense than ever to recognize the potential of a marriage to boost happiness and health and to work to keep and improve it.
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
Basic Tips for Planning a Wedding
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Invitation Anatomy 101 - Optional Components - Part 2 of 3
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Traditional Bridal Shower Gifts
The tradition of hosting a bridal shower for the bride to be grew out of a desire of the friends and family of the bride to get to know each other better, strengthen the bonds between new friends and offer moral support and assistance with marriage planning for the new brie. The idea of offering bridal shower gifts did not actually surface until some time in the late 19th century. Prior to this time, traditionally, a young woman would come into a marriage with a dowry intended to help a new family set up their home.
Enhancing Communication in Marriage
In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
Diamond Engagement Ring, on Two Months Salary - Maybe Not!
Diamond spending - well, that is up to you. What to spend on a diamond is a tough and personal question. Two months' salary is a guideline.
Top 5 Reasons for Hiring a Wedding Planner
One of the most joyous occasions in life is a wedding, a time when two people in love exchange those powerful words, "I Do", which binds them legally as husband and wife. Although an exciting time of life, planning a wedding is also a very stressful time. For that reason, many people have discovered the benefits of hiring a professional coordinator to ensure everything comes together as it should. In this article, we are providing you with the top five reasons for hiring a wedding planner so you can enjoy your wedding with much less stress.
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Wedding Videos... What To Do
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Cancun Honeymoon Vacation - Pleasure Unlimited!
The Cancun honeymoon vacation comes with its bagage of sweet promises of fulfilment and bliss for one and all. Lying in the lap of nature in the arms of your loved one is one of the many cherished experiences you would have in a Cancun honeymoon vacation.
Star Jones Nuptials: Fairytale Wedding or Diva Gone Wild?
In case you've been living on another planet for the past several months, you may not have heard that Star Jones was getting married. For the rest of us here on planet earth we couldn't escape this joyous news unless we swore off pop culture icons like Entertainment Tonight and People magazine.
Terrific Advice Concerning Destination Weddings As Shared By Two Gurus On The Topic
Today Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel.com & Bookpleasures.com is pleased to have as a guest, Denise and Alan Fields, authors of BRIDAL BARGAINS and the BRIDAL PASSPORT WEDDING PLANNER. Both are in bookstores nationwide or you can order online at WINDSORPEAK.COM.
Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want in a Husband? Part Two
In Part One, we looked at what wives really want in a husband and we identified two things in particular. Wives want a soulmate who they feel deeply connected to and they want emotional support and emotional intimacy. This means that they want a husband who will talk about his feelings and who values having an emotional connection.
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