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How to Nurture Intimacy When Youre in a Long-Distance Marriage
The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated. If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch. But what else can you do to stay connected with your partner and not lose that special bond between you?
One suggestion is to take the extra time to also send "snail mail" greeting cards, letters, and postcards when possible. Buy an assortment of cards when you have a chance, and that will make it easier to send out one or two cards each week. Vary the type of cards that you send--some romantic, some funny. You could also send postcards to add variety and show scenes of the geographic area where you are working.
In your letters and emails, don't only talk about what activities you've been involved in, but be sure to share your feelings about what's going on in your life. Ask feeling-related questions, such as "Do you ever worry that one day we'll have been married 20 years and we'll discover that we don't really know each other?" Also share memories and experiences from childhood and the years before you met.
Write your spouse a letter telling her (or him)what you love about her,what attracted you to her, what you admire about her, and why you want to stay married to her. Before you send it to her, make a copy for yourself and read it once a day to remind yourself of all the positives about your spouse. Ask her to do the same for you.
Look for ways to create reminders that will trigger thoughts of each other when you're apart. For example, you might consider naming a star for your spouse at the International Star Registry (www.starregistry.com). Then, each starry night, you will both feel connected as you look for "your star."
You might come up with some other symbols to trigger your thoughts, such as agreeing to think of each other every time you see a certain type of bird. Or pick a car with special meaning and think of each other every time you see a red Camaro, for example. Perhaps you will both agree to listen to a certain song on a CD before you go to sleep each night, knowing the other person is doing the same thing.
Brainstorm about ways you can feel connected even when you're not talking on the phone or emailing each other. Mail your husband (or wife) a tape of yourself reading a love poem or sweet letter you have written to him. Send small surprise gifts when you can. They don't have to be expensive; they just need to show that you're thinking of him.
You could order gifts of gourmet candy, nuts, popcorn, flowers, or other items from the Internet. Or you could give a magazine subscription to your spouse so she (or he) will think of you each time the publication arrives. Another idea is to send her a new CD that you think she'll like or a paperback book.
Consider creating your own web site where you can post photos you both take with a digital camera. The pictures could show scenes from your life apart and also pictures from the times you are together. Over time, this would document your history as well as your current life as a couple. One site that provides free web hosting for family web sites is www.myfamily.com.
Other ideas include having a print shop like Kinko's put a photograph of you and your spouse on coffee mugs, or having a photograph put on a T-shirt or sweatshirt for each of you. If you have some common interests in reading or listening to audio books, pick a book to read or listen to at the same time and then discuss it as you go along.
Put on your creative thinking cap and experiment to see what works best for the two of you. By using your imagination, you can deepen your emotional connection with your spouse, even though you're physically separated by thousands of miles.
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
How to Plan a Cheap Wedding
There's no doubt about it, weddings can be expensive. The average cost of a wedding today is $20,000 ? $25,000, and weddings are estimated to be a $25.3 billion industry. But don't worry if your budget cannot stretch for the most expensive custom-made gown, elegant invitation cards, or the top photographer, it doesn't mean that your wedding will be any less unique or special than anyone else's.
How Optimism can Help ? or Hurt ? Your Marriage
Beth and Tom were happily married for over 25 years ? no small feat in today's world. At first, their friends could not understand how their marriage succeeded, due to numerous perceived shortcomings.
Diamond Engagement Ring, on Two Months Salary - Maybe Not!
Diamond spending - well, that is up to you. What to spend on a diamond is a tough and personal question. Two months' salary is a guideline.
Las Vegas Wedding Chapels
In Las Vegas, once you get your marriage license you don't have to wait for any predetermined amount of time and there is no blood test required before you can get married. Thinking about getting married in a chapel? The advantage of getting married in a chapel is that once you have chosen the one that is right for you, half of the job is completed because the chapel managers will do most of the work for you. They have been performing weddings for countless couples for quite some time and they'll be able to take care of any of your specific requests no matter how small or grandiose. Here are a few of your choices for Las Vegas Wedding Chapels.
Wedding Videography - When Getting it Right on the 1st Take Counts, Hire a Professional
Getting married is one of the most stressful events anyone will ever endure. So many details and preparations go into the making of a successful wedding. Often one of the most overlooked aspects of wedding preparation is hiring a wedding videographer. Many couples think they can cut a few corners by having uncle Charlie or aunt Mary video their wedding. They've had a camcorder for a long time; they must know what they are doing right? And what the heck it's free!
Indian Astrology and Marriages
Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences, which studies the effects of the planetary positions and movements on our lives. Indian Astrology is an integral aspect of the Vedic literature (Vedic Astrology) and was practiced over the years by Indian sages and passed on to their disciples. In olden days, the kings would depend on astrology to determine the right and auspicious time before embarking on any new and important initiatives. Ages later, today, we still find the strong influence of astrology in our day-to-day life. Any major event in life, whether it is marriage, buying a car, buying a house, or even entering a new house, is undertaken only after consulting the astrologer for an auspicious time.
Caribbean Honeymoon Vacation - a Fancy Trip!
This season, a Caribbean honeymoon vacation will give you unlimited joy. Holidaying in the rich, tropical Caribbean honeymoon resorts is the best way to start a blissful married life for many a couple. The pristine beaches and the rainforests give you an idea that this exotic land of human craving can give you the riches.
How to Find the Right Bridesmaid Dresses for Your Wedding
The kind of bridesmaid dresses your bridal attendants should should wear depends on the type of wedding you end up having.
Wedding Cake Design Through History
The design of the traditional wedding cake has varied greatly over time. Once a sign of fertility, the wedding cake of the Roman Empire was made of wheat or Barley. The small cake was then broken over the bride's head, celebrating her fertility.
How Is A Professional Wedding Designer Different From Other Wedding Vendors Who Do Event Planning?
Often when you are looking for wedding vendors who suit your needs, you will run across a vendor that advertises that they also will coordinate your wedding - FREE! These people generally do not have the extensive training or association memberships that professional wedding designers or bridal consultants have.
The Wedding Guests Guide to A Stress Free and Fun Wedding
Most brides become obsessed with throwing the perfect wedding. The bride-zilla persona takes over and can cause incredible pressure and strain on all involved. What most brides fail to realize is that the majority of details they fuss over, go unnoticed by guests and are forgotten by the bride and groom during the excitement of the big day.
Wonderful White Gold Wedding Rings
The elegant and sophisticated look of glittering, gleaming gold. There's nothing quite like it.
The Marriage Test
Love should not blind a couple to the realities of their legal status of husband and wife, for they are bound by an unwritten contract of marriage governed by the laws of the federal government, the state they live in and the decisions of the judiciary. Every bride and groom must learn that the state is at the altar with them.
Wedding Etiquette for the Best Man, Groomsmen, and Ushers
Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good men-often his brothers, college buddies, and best friends-to carry out all of the responsibilities traditionally assigned to the guys. Once your fiancé has picked his team, he'll have to give them a few pointers on just what their roles and responsibilities are, so here's the lowdown.
Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex
It's really not difficult to ruin what could have been great sex. If that's your goal, following these twelve suggestions will ensure that, over time, your spouse will become very creative in finding ways to avoid having sex with you.
10 Valentines Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage
The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. While many spouses focus on Valentine's Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time and energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible-an improved, satisfying marriage.
Wedding Invitation Labels and Envelopes
Computer printed labels are a time-saver, but they make the first impression of your formal wedding invitation appear impersonal. If a calligrapher is not in the budget, you can gather handwriting samples from your friends and offer them a fun incentive to assist addressing the envelopes.
Discount Wedding Dresses ? Elegance and Style that Won?t Blow Your Budget!
If you're planning your wedding day then you'll be all too aware that one of the many expenses is the cost of your dream wedding gown. Fortunately, with the fantastic selection of top quality discount wedding dresses available these days, it's possible to look like a princess without spending a small fortune. Savvy brides-to-be know that using the internet to compare prices and styles of bridal dresses can lead to a real bargain. So, get online and see how much you can save!
Throwing a Las Vegas Garden Wedding
You may not think of Las Vegas as an area known for its gardens but you'd be wrong. There are more gardens in and around Las Vegas than you'd think possible given the desert environment, the heat and the crowds of tourists that never stop coming. There are gardens inside in some of the most unlikely places and there are outside gardens that will make you forget you're in the desert.
Me Tarzan! You Jane!
Once upon a time a caveman, while out for a walk, came a across a young woman. Struck by her beauty he immediately tried to get her attention by violently thumping his chest, his good imitation of Tarzan's victory cry reverberating through the length and breadth of the forest.
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