According to the Washington Post (July 2, 2006) “While clergy still perform most weddings, the ceremonies are straying ever farther from tradition, reflecting a “do-it-yourself” attitude toward religious nuptials”

How true, how true.

When I first started officianting at weddings seven years ago, non-denominational weddings were starting to proliferate. Now they seem to be exploding. Why do you think that is? I have done my best to find information and statistics and all that dull kind of stuff on the internet and I come up with zip to none. But I have my opinions and ideas about why this is happening. I’m going to share them with you and if you don’t like what I say, that’s o.k. It’s just an opinion about a trend.

Idea #1 More and more people are defining themselves as “spiritual” and “not religious” and don’t have a regular church in which to be married. Most of them want a wedding that includes God but some do not. They want more than a civil ceremony and they want their own spirituality reflected.

Idea #2 Couples are realizing that they don’t have to do the “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today”… and make promises to love, honor and obey. More couples are wanting custom weddings and wanting to have a say in the structure and wording of the ceremony.

Idea #3 There are more interfaith marriages taking place and they need a neutral venue and a neutral ceremony that reflects their particular personal style as a couple.

Idea #4 There are more nondenominationaal officiants available who are creative, flexible, loving and spiritual. They are able and willing to think outside that proverbial box to help design a ceremony that is fresh and exciting to the couple. They also are generally willing to work with people with various religious and spiritual paths.

Idea #5 Weddings have become a business and officiants are advertising and letting couples know about their services.

Idea #6 The internet makes it possible for everyone who works with weddings to make their services know through websites, blogs, directories and ads. This allows people to realize they have many more options than simply a choice between a church and a civil ceremony.

“Nondenominational” is generally considered Christian oriented but not in a specific denomination such as Baptist, Catholic, Episcopal or Presbyterian. And many ministers who perform nondenominational weddings alse perform Interfaith weddings such as Catholic-Jewish or Budhist-Christian, generally trying to incorporate something from each belief system.

A wedding is a joyful celebration in which two people declalre their love for each other publicly. Nondenominational weddings allow a couple to have “their ceremony their way.”

Irene Conlan has a masters degree in nursing, a doctoral degree in metaphysics, is a certified hypnotherapist and an ordained minister. She practices holistic hypnotherapy and officiates at weddings in Scottsdale, Az and the Phoenix metropolitan area. Irene can be found at: http://www.thepowerzone.com (Hypnotherapy Downloads) http://www.yourscottsdalewedding.com (Scottsdale Weddings) http://your-scottsdale-wedding.com (Wedding Blog)

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While many different religions and nationalities have their own well established traditions, it is becoming increasingly common for couples of mixed ancestry to marry. Inter-racial couples are marrying more and more often and with this increase in inter-racial marriages comes a need for weddings that have a multi-cultural feel. With so many wonderful traditions that hold a great deal of importance to many families it is important to plan a wedding that will celebrate the cultural diversity rather than spotlight one of the cultures while neglecting the other. Even if the couple themselves do not feel strongly about having their heritage represented, it is important to consider the feelings of family members as well. While the wedding is for the couple and in general they should plan it as they see fit, this should not be done at the risk of hurting the feelings of family members by neglecting their culture in the ceremony and reception.

The signing of the Ketubah is the traditional start to a Jewish wedding ceremony. The Ketubah is a written agreement that not only asserts that the bride is not already married but also outlines the expectations that the couple hold for each other in the marriage. This ornate document can later be framed and prominently displayed in the couple’s home as a reminder of their commitment. After the bride and groom have signed the Ketubah, the groom takes one final look at his bride before lowering her veil and beginning the wedding procession. This tradition has biblical roots and recalls the story of Jacob who married the wrong woman because she was veiled and he did not realize his mistake in time.

The wedding party traditionally precedes the couple in the wedding procession. The bride and groom then proceed down the aisle together accompanied by both of their parents to symbolize that their union includes the union of both families and not just the bride and the groom. The couple ends their procession under a traditional canopy called a chuppah. This canopy symbolizes that God is present and that he is sheltering and protecting the couple.

There are countless variations for blending the traditions of two cultures into the wedding ceremony. For example you might want to consider having both the bride and the groom dressing in the traditional attire of the one of the families but having them enter the ceremony to traditional music of the other family. Another variation on this idea is to have the bride dress according to her cultural customs while the groom dresses according to his cultural customs. This would symbolize the joining of the two cultures with the union of the individuals. You could even consider having the bride and the groom dress according to each other’s cultural customs as a symbol of their being willing to embrace the other culture in their union.

Even the rings that a couple exchanges during a Jewish wedding have traditional values. Tradition holds that the couple exchange very simple rings that are devoid of gems, engravings or other distinguishing marks. With nothing to distinguish the beginning or the end of the ring, it is a beautiful symbol of a love that endures forever with no clear beginning or end. This symbolizes both the couples love for each other as well as God’s love for his people.

A traditional Jewish wedding reception features many dances. An energetic dance called the Hora is performed at many traditional Jewish weddings. In this dance the bride and groom hold a handkerchief between them while they are seated in chairs and hoisted into the air by their guests. This dance is a celebration of the bride and groom and recognizes the significance of their union. If this wedding represents the last son or daughter of one of the parents to be married there are a few more traditional dances that may take place. If the bride was the last in her family to be married, she and her sisters may honor their mother in a tradition known as Krenzi. The mother is crowned with flowers and her daughters honor her in the form of dance. Also, if either the bride or groom was the youngest to be married both of the parents will be honored through the Mizinke dance. In this tradition all of the guests circle the parents and shower them with flowers and praise.

The Jewish faith is a faith that is full of history and tradition. Many couples and their guests choose to honor these traditions by incorporating them into their wedding ceremony and reception. Many of these traditions are the defining moments of the celebration and they lend an atmosphere of historical significance to the wedding.

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